Nostalgia

The term nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form.^[1] The word is a learned formation of a Greek compound, consisting of νόστος, nóstos, "returning home", a Homeric word, and άλγος, álgos, "pain" or "ache".

I can easily say that this is closest to what I feel right now.
I woke up this morning with a horribly empty feeling; not only of loneliness and longing back to where my heart truly belongs. But with a doubt in myself and choices I havent even had time to make yet. Im in an inbetween state where I dont really know where I want to be or what I want to do with myself.. my life. There is a anger caused by not letting myself follow my dreams to begin with, and a thought of that -the putting off and the past events in life have taken me where I am today, "dont forget that". But I DONT want to think like that.. I dont want to be happy for the things that put me where I am right now, because Im heartsick and homesick to a place so far away.